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The Kali Krew Presents: Bookish Brush Offs and Insults

The week before last we presented you, our dear readers, with romantic lines suitable to woo the ‘worm in your life or local bookstore. If you happen to be on the receiving end of some creepy bookish pick-up lines (not ours, ours are classy as fuck) well then just look below for a nice list of bookish brush-offs and insults for everyday occasions. Whether it’s ditching the Creeper in Classics or the Hounder in Horror, we’ve got you covered.

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"She was very showy, ut she was not genuine; she had a fine person, many brilliant attainments, but her mind was poor, her heart barren by nature; nothing bloomed spontaneously on that soil; no unforced natural fruit delighted by its freshness. She was not good; she was not original; she used to repeat sounding phrases from books: She never offered, nor had, an opinion of her own. She advocated a high tone of sentiment, but she did not know the sensations of sympathy and pity;tenderness and truth are not in her. - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Submitted by Michael M

"You're as dense as War and Peace and half as interesting"
Submitted by Sam

You're like a Golden Age sci-fi novel. All rip-roaring fun on the surface, and kind of a sexist, racist asshole underneath
Submitted by Lilyn

He was one of the numerous and varied legions of dullards, of half-animated abortions, conceited, half-educated coxcombs, who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to vulgarize it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Submitted Michael M

You've got less spine than a thrift store paperback
Submitted by GracieKat

Want to know what you and Stephen King have in common? With both, I didn't finish
Submitted by Nico

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
Submitted by Lilyn

You're the doodle in the margins that no one wants to read
Submitted by Tracy

Even Dracula doesn't suck as much as you do
Submitted by Nico

All publishers are a race inhuman, set apart, flourishing in wickedness but probably doomed to eternal fires.  High Rising by Angela Thirkell
Submitted by Mike J

You guys came up with a lot of really good bookish pick up lines from the last list, it was awesome to read. We try as much as humanly possible to respond to your comments and we love to hear from you all. I hope we had a good mix of insults from us and some straight from books for you guys to choose from for any future needs! Let us know your favorites down below and please add some of your own!

Published inTop Ten Tuesday
┬ęSci-Fi & Scary 2019
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