Names Have Power

…So I Shall Call It Pookie

They say names have power, and knowing a thing’s name takes some of its power away. I believe that words have power, so it’s just a short step to believing in that, I guess. I asked a friend to give me a really silly name. Something you couldn’t say with a straight face that you’d name something scary.

Well,  I didn’t actually say “name something scary”.  I asked her what she’d name her ladybits.

That conversation amused me and worried her, but she had no clue what she’d name them. So, therefore, I’m naming it/them Pookie. Not that she’d name her ladybits Pookie, mind you. Neither would I, for that matter. If I was going to name my ladybits, I’d give them a proper name. Like, Wilbur. Wilbur’s a fine, distinguished name.

As soon as I decided on Pookie, I realized the name sounded very similar to a mythical creature I’d heard about from somewhere. Took me a minute to figure out what, but I got it. Pooka.

No fairy is more feared in Ireland than the pooka. This may be because it is always out and about after nightfall, creating harm and mischief, and because it can assume a variety of terrifying forms.  – Irish Fairies | The Pooka. (2016). Irelandseye.com. Retrieved 7 December 2016

 

Anyways, I saw Pookie again. I really wish I hadn’t. Really, really wish I hadn’t. I’m hoping it was just the temporary obsession with reading all I could about Shadow People that set it off, but… Yeah, that’d be my luck.

One of my co-workers asked me how I was doing today. I just stared at her for a minute, then shook my head and said “You don’t want to know.” Then I walked away because she’s nosey and loves to know everyone’s business.

I’d went to the movie theater last night. Figured it would be a good time to get out of the house, you know? Distract myself with munchies and hot men running around blowing crap up. And everything went according to plan. I had popcorn with m’n’ms in it, I watched a semi-hot man with huge nose going all Grr-Argh on aliens, and life was good. So I wasn’t even really thinking about anything when I went to the bathroom before I left the cineplex. And, of course, mid-washing my hands, I glance up, and Pookie is standing beside me.

Like, literally standing beside me! Needless to say, if I hadn’t already had a thorough tinkle, I’m pretty sure there’d have been a fair bit of leakage from my nether regions. As it was, my lovely fight or flight instinct left me completely deserted and I just froze, doing my best impression of a Tarsier. I wanted to turn my head and look over to see if it was really there, but I honestly couldn’t. It just stood there for a few minutes, about a foot away from me. I couldn’t really see any features or anything. It was… Hm. Like, I knew it was there – it was definitely kind of shadowy – but at the same time there was nothing really solid about it. You know how you see something out of the corner of your eye, but you don’t really *see* it?

Like that.

And then, of course, some lady exits the another stall, walks up, standings in Pookie, and proceeds to wash her hands. Gave me a bit of a side-eye for looking like a bug-eyed terrified goblin, but didn’t say anything.

I just cleared my throat and hurriedly finished washing my hands. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Tell her “Excuse me, but did you not see the shadow thingie you just stepped in?

I think not.

I’m going to place another call into the doctor. Maybe he can see me if it’s a psychiatric emergency? Is it a psychiatric emergency? Or does that only happen when you’re thinking about suicide?

 

 

Shadow People on the Street?

Shadow People

Okay, so naturally I go to make an appointment with my doctor last week, and due to everyone getting in their end of year stuff… I can’t get in to see him for a month. Naturally. Well, whatever. Like I said previously, I’ve been hearing this stuff for a couple of weeks, and nothing has happened to me yet. That part really hasn’t changed. Just these random conversations. They’re fairly quiet most of the time, but I swear sometimes it feels like they’re talking right in my ears!

I guess no one really wants to admit that they’re hearing voices,  you know? Uh-oh, skitzo freak. But I seriously doubt I’m that crazy. I mean, it’s not like I have voices in my head telling me to kill someone or whatever. It’s just these random people (pretty sure they’re all guys) chitter-chattering constantly. Well, not constantly. Thank God. Circe. Gaia. pick a deity, any deity fully.

I was super paranoid after that night. Part of me wanted to look obsessively in every single window to see if I saw something again. I would say it was hard to resist, but it wasn’t. Even though I like horror movies and books, I’m a complete wimp. So it was easier to just keep my head down when I walked and try not to look in windows at all.

I feel like a little bit of an idiot, though. Maybe it is all the horror movies, but I… started googling. I know, I know you shouldn’t google crap because it will have you convinced that a nosebleed is really a brain tumor. But, seriously, how many of us don’t google stuff we probably shouldn’t or things we’re embarrassed to ask someone else? Heck, just last week I was googling proper insertion of a Diva cup. (Side note: Ladies, if you’re considering it, all I can say is so far so good! It’s a bit odd getting that intimate in a public restroom with your ladybits, but… no TSS to worry about. No mini diapers to wear. And you can’t feel it!) ….I got off track. Sorry.

I ended up -after a couple failed efforts – googling “shadow people”. Apparently, lots of people have seen these ‘shadow people. There’s even a website devoted to the topic: http://www.shadowpeople.org/ . And I found this explanation somewhere else:

Whereas ghost apparitions are almost always a misty white, vapor-like or have a decidedly human form and appearance (very often with discernible “clothing”), shadow beings are much darker and more shadow-like.” – Wagner, Stephen. “What You Should Really Know About Shadow People”. About.com Entertainment. N.p., 2016. Web. 2 Dec. 2016.

I know Wikipedia isn’t exactly the best site, but it had an interesting section on them too (and I checked out the reference books this stuff came from):

“a person experiencing heightened emotion, such as while walking alone on a dark night, may incorrectly perceive a patch of shadow as an attacker.” (“Rapid Psychiatry”. Google Books. N.p., 2016. Web. 2 Dec. 2016.)

Which I can almost buy. Except for the part where it wasn’t trying to attack me!

GAH!

So, I was telling myself it was just a one-time thing – or that some people really are just more open to seeing things. That seeing a shadow really meant nothing. Once is happenstance, right?  If it happens again, then I’ll get concerned.

In the meantime, I’m just going to fidget like crazy and hope that either these people go away (preferably) or start speaking English, for feck’s sake!

12/8/16 – Going Crazy Part 2

Miss L reviews Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

A few weeks ago, I saw the illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone at the library. I snatched it up instantly. I’d been considering introducing Miss L to the first Harry Potter book, but to be honest, when I grabbed it… it was for me.

Anyways, L saw it, was intrigued, and asked me to read it to her. Now, the age range on Harry Potter is 9-12 years old. Obviously that’s a bit older than she is. So, I figured we’d give it a shot – but if she didn’t like it/couldn’t concentrate I wouldn’t worry too much because I’d still get to look at the pretty pictures.

From almost the first page… L was enchanted. Just absolutely hooked by the story. (To be fair, though, it was probably my ridiculously bad accents at first.) It amazed me how engaged she was. When we reach the point where it was revealed that Harry had no friends at primary because the other kids were afraid of Dudley, L propped her hands on her hips, scowled, and proclaimed “If I was there, I would be Harry Potter’s boy friend!” Then there was a slight pause as I tried not to snicker at her word choice, and she caught herself. “Er… girl friend. ”

She asked to read Harry’s lines. So she sat beside me, patiently, waiting for Harry’s speech so she could read it out loud.

The night after we finished the chapter about the first Quidditch match, I asked L what we’d read so far (to see how much she absorbed), and… wow. She was so excited as she described thing after thing to me, especially the Quidditch match itself. Her eyes sparkled as she clapped her hands over her mouth and pretended to cough out a snitch and then triumphantly put her arms in the air.

Once she’d got it out of her system, I told her I was very, very proud of her for remembering everything that we’d read so far. Then we read the Norbert chapter. When I asked her the next night what she remembered about the Norbert chapter… I finally had to basically put a hand over her mouth to get her to shush. She just kept going on and on about Harry standing up for Neville (which I think happened a few chapters back, but whatever.), and Hagrid writing “Its Hatching” on a piece of paper, and so on and so forth.

Anyways, she’s been swearing up and down that Snape is definitely the bad guy. No question about it. So,  when we read chapter 17 (the Man with Two Faces) and she found out that Snape wasn’t the bad guy… she flipped out. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes got wide, and she practically shouted…

“What?! It was QUIRREL?! How did I NOT guess that!! Oh man!” Needless to say, when it was revealed that Voldemort was hiding under Quirrel’s turban, she freaked out again, (Mostly in disgust this time, though) and asked me “He’s not gonna kill Harry, is he?” She sat through an hour and a half of me reading to her in one night just so she could get through the big confrontation at the end and find out what happened. Her eyes were red and drooping, but she sat glued to my side so we could find out if the bad guy got the Stone.

I have never enjoyed reading a book with her as much as I have reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone with her. Seeing that engagement, that sparkle in her eyes, and the sheer delight in the story has been absolutely wonderful.

…and now for Miss L’s review.

What did I think about?

It was awesome! I really liked when Harry stood up for Neville. I liked the way Hagrid talked. I liked that mommy did all the silly voices, like when she said ter and yeh instead of to and you. There is a fifth grader on my bus, and she read Sorcerer’s Stone, but her mommy didn’t do the silly voices. 

Quidditch was fun! I kind of liked it when Harry gulped the snitch and spit it out. I cheered when Gryffindor won. I wouldn’t want to play Quidditch though. I am afraid I would swallow the snitch like he did. 

I didn’t like when Harry got hurt. Or when Ron got hurt on the chess match. I was afraid he was going to die. I didn’t like that Harry and Hermione left him behind. It was yucky in the book when Quirrel turned around and had that face on the back of his head. That’s why he wore that purple turban.

If I went to Hogwarts, I would want to be a Ravenclaw, because they are smart. Hagrid was my favorite adult. I thought Snape was the bad guy for a long time. I was so surprised when we read the end, and Snape wasn’t the bad guy. That Quirrel was the bad guy. 

I want to read more Harry Potter. I want to read all the books actually.  

We watched the movie last night. It was cool. There were big things that were the same, but a lot of little things were different. I liked that Hagrid was there in the movie waving at Harry at the train station. What was really funny was the troll boogies on Harry’s wand.

 
Click here to get Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: The Illustrated Edition (Harry Potter, Book 1) for your library.

 

 

Burn the Dead: Purge Review (Zombie Horror)

Burn the Dead PurgeBurn the Dead: Purge Synopsis

There are those who run, while others hide.

And then, there are the Cleaners.

The living dead have staggered straight out of hell, and all that keeps humanity from crumbling is a small team of men who catch the rotters, before cleaning up the mess left behind.

Catherine Woods might not be a man, but no sexist, out-dated nonsense is going to stop her from following her dreams and joining the war against the undead.

The only problem is—even the best dreams can become nightmares in an instant. – Goodreads


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A Review of The Keeper of Crows by Kyle Alexander Romines

What’s it about? 

Book Cover for Keeper of Crows by Kyle Alexander RominesNo evil can remain buried forever, as disgraced journalist Thomas Brooks discovers when a wave of death grips the rural Kentucky town of Gray Hollow in terror.

Also investigating the murder is Sheriff Jezebel Woods, who doesn’t approve of Thomas’ sensationalist intentions. Mounting deaths force the pair to set aside their differences to confront a force that threatens to destroy the entire town.

At the center of the mystery is the disappearance of a boy named Salem Alistair, who designed a series of grotesque scarecrows for his parents’ farm—scarecrows that are turning up at each subsequent crime scene. Thomas begins to doubt his uneasy alliance with the sheriff when he realizes Jezebel has her own secret history with Salem Alistair.

-Adapted from Goodreads Synopsis

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The Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror Review

The Doll-Master and Other Tales of TerrorThe Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror: From one of our most important contemporary writers, The Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror is a bold, haunting collection of six stories.

In the title story, a young boy becomes obsessed with his cousin’s doll after she tragically passes away from leukemia. As he grows older, he begins to collect “found dolls” from the surrounding neighborhoods and stores his treasures in the abandoned carriage house on his family’s estate. But just what kind of dolls are they? In “Gun Accident,” a teenage girl is thrilled when her favorite teacher asks her to house-sit, even on short notice. But when an intruder forces his way into the house while the girl is there, the fate of more than one life is changed forever. In “Equatorial,” set in the exotic Galapagos, an affluent American wife experiences disorienting assaults upon her sense of who her charismatic husband really is, and what his plans may be for her.

In The Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror, Joyce Carol Oates evokes the “fascination of the abomination” that is at the core of the most profound, the most unsettling, and the most memorable of dark mystery fiction- Goodreads


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A Review of The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey

What’s it about?

71717711These are the secrets I have kept. This is the trust I never betrayed. But he is dead now and has been for more than forty years, the one who gave me his trust, the one for whom I kept these secrets. The one who saved me . . . and the one who cursed me.

So starts the diary of Will Henry, orphaned assistant to Dr. Pellinore Warthrop, a man with a most unusual specialty: monstrumology, the study of monsters. In his time with the doctor, Will has met many a mysterious late-night visitor, and seen things he never imagined were real. But when a grave robber comes calling in the middle of the night with a gruesome find, he brings with him their most deadly case yet.

A gothic tour de force that explores the darkest heart of man and monster and asks the question: When does man become the very thing he hunts?

-Goodreads Synopsis

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Review of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

What’s it about?

Book Cover for Red Queen by Victoria AveyardThis is a world divided by blood – red or silver.

The Reds are commoners, ruled by a Silver elite in possession of god-like superpowers. And to Mare Barrow, a seventeen-year-old Red girl from the poverty-stricken Stilts, it seems like nothing will ever change. That is, until she finds herself working in the Silver Palace. Here, surrounded by the people she hates the most, Mare discovers that, despite her red blood, she possesses a deadly power of her own. One that threatens to destroy the balance of power.

Fearful of Mare’s potential, the Silvers hide her in plain view, declaring her a long-lost Silver princess, now engaged to a Silver prince. Despite knowing that one misstep would mean her death, Mare works silently to help the Red Guard, a militant resistance group, and bring down the Silver regime.But this is a world of betrayal and lies, and Mare has entered a dangerous dance – Reds against Silvers, prince against prince, and Mare against her own heart… -Goodreads Synopsis

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Book Review: Not Your Mother’s Goose by Topher Goggin (and Giveaway!)

(Giveaway Deets at the bottom!)

What’s it about?

A re-telling of the classic fairy-tale stories in ways adults can definitely appreciate. Just not kids. Do NOT read to kids.

What did I think of it?

A mixed bag of adult spins on classic fairy-tales, Not Your Mother’s Goose had me snorting just reading the introduction, so I had high hopes when I started reading it.

The stories ranged from mildly amusing to “Whatcha laughin’ about, mummy?” from the Snuglet as I cackled on the couch. My favorite has to be the short little article on Rapunzel’s first bikini wax, but Mr. Goggin has a couple winners in his re-tellings of Snow White and Bambi, as well as the short little “taken from the headlines” type brief bits scattered throughout the book. My favorite of those is the one about The Headless Horseman seeking a..uhm, well, I can’t reprint that.

There are potshots that are mostly hilarious at everyone from Gyneth Paltrow to the Oakland Raiders.

I won’t lie and say that every re-telling in the book was hilarious, or even funny (there were a couple stinkers), but I found myself at least smiling in amusement once or twice per page at a particular line if not at the overall story.

I’m only going to give two warnings about this book:

  1. Do not read it to your children. This is not a children’s book. Make sure your six year old doesn’t get her sneaky little hands on it either!
  2. Don’t read if you’re an easily offended feminist.

Side note: This book came at the perfect time for me today. Really needed a giggle, and Not Your Mother’s Goose definitely delivered.

Favorite Quotes (that are (mostly) safe for work!):

“I ended up having to go next door to borrow a weed-wacker.”  -Wax Specialist, Lonny Martin

“..spends his days annoying his fellow citizens, lying, and taking money out of other people’s pockets. Basically, he’s a U.S. Senator in a fez.”

PETA to Protest “Popping” of Weasels.

So, look like this might be just the type of thing you need for office-reading when you’re bored senseless?? A book to lighten up the lunchroom? Or just to read at home when you need a laugh??

NYMGgiveaway

The Winner is Karen Stewart !

An email has been sent.

Click here to find Not Your Mother’s Goose now on Amazon.com

Title: Not Your Mother’s Goose | Author: Topher Goggin (site) | Publisher: CRD Press | Publication Date: 2015-6-29 | Pages: 67 | ISBN: 099096440X | Genre: Humor | Language: English | Triggers: The destruction of your childhood fairy-tales | Rating: 4 out of 5 | Date Read: 2015-11-2 | Source: Received a copy free from author in exchange for an honest review.

A Review of The Felix Chronicles by R.T. Lowe

What’s it about?

“Reeling from a terrible accident that claimed the lives of his parents, Felix arrives at Portland College hoping only to survive the experience. In time, however, his reality star roommate shows him there is more to higher education than just classes, shared bathrooms and bad dorm food, and Felix gradually dares to believe he can put his past behind him. But a fateful storm looms on the horizon: In the nearby woods, two hikers become the latest victims in a series of gruesome murders; a disfigured giant embarks on a vicious cross-country rampage, killing teenagers who fail his ‘test’; and an ancient society of assassins tasked with eradicating the wielders of a mysterious source of power awakens after a long silence. Only one man–the school’s groundskeeper–knows that the seemingly unrelated events are connected, and that an eighteen-year-old boy stands in the center of the storm.”-Goodreads Synopsis

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