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The Kali Krew Presents: 12 Lame Posters for 12 Awesome Movies

A movie cover is supposed to catch the eye. To make you want to go see it in the theater, grab it off the shelf or stream it. Unfortunately, some movies get done so dirty when it comes to the eye-catching poster design. Which might partly account for some of them fading slightly into the background. This isn’t to say that every poster is a plain one. Sometimes the overseas posters can be better (but that’s a list for another time).

So…enjoy? these very non-descriptive posters for some amazing movies.

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Black Panther

Chosen by Bill

Movie cover for Black Panther

Keep in mind that these are bad posters for awesome movies. While we’ve included this here it’s only a wish that the poster could have reflected the greatness of the movie itself and the actors. We’d like to extend our condolences again to the Boseman family. Chadwick Boseman will always be Black Panther.

This poster did cause a bit of contention so, for your reading entertainment, enjoy this conversation between Lilyn and Bill.

“What is wrong with that poster?!”

“Um, everything?”

“Like what? Okoye shoulda been bigger.”

“Similarly bad poster”

“It’s boring as hell and conveys nothing of the nature of the story.”

“That one is bad but the Black Panther is a poster full of POC for a superhero movie that is deliberately composited rather than sloppily slapped together.”

“And, as you can see that basic boring structure, is used over and over again.
Antman has the exact same thing”

It also spelled both “black” and “panther” correctly – I did not say that the poster should be condemned for absolutely every possible reason – but it’s still a lame poster.
Now look at Spiderman – it’s got a POC and a green alien on it – but do we give them props? oh hell no.”

“The POC in Spiderman was a bit part. Black Panther was a whole fucking movie and represented so MUCH. It’s not my favorite poster, to be sure. But I don’t think it’s lame. Just tame.”

Check out Lilyn’s review of Black Panther

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch Project 2

Chosen by Tracy

Deep Blue Sea

Chosen by Sam

Movie cover for Deep Blue Sea

Check out JB Rockwell’s Bad Movie Mayhem: Deep Blue Sea

Event Horizon

Chosen by Lilyn

Movie cover for Event Horizon

I nominate the Iron Giant head ship” – Lilyn

The Faculty

Chosen by Sam

It’s just the blandest poster. Like, yep, that’s the cast alright.” – Sam

Fifth Element

Chosen by Lilyn

“Floating heads on lightsabers” – Lilyn

House on Haunted Hill

Chosen by Tracy

House on Haunted Hill 1999

Check out Gracie and Lilyn’s Original vs. Remake: House on Haunted Hill

Isola: Multiple Personality Girl

Chosen by Gracie

“Despite the sensationalist title, Isola is an excellent movie and doesn’t go for the cheap thrills of DID. The cover, however, does not match the low-key feel of the actual movie. Also, the hair is supposed to be floating in water. I’ve had the DVD since 2001. I just realized today that the hair is supposed to be floating, not looking like she escaped from a bad tease job in the eighties.” – Gracie

Mad Max: Fury Road

Chosen by JB Rockwell

“With all the gonzo vehicles, S&M outfits and bungee-corded, axe-playing psychopaths, we get this lame broody shot of Furiosa taking her dog, Mac, for a walk. Booooooo.” – JB Rockwell

The Shawshank Redemption

Chosen by Bill

“The giant floating heads are never a good idea.” – Bill

The Shining

Chosen by Shawn

“Fear The Face!” – Gracie

Silent Hill

Chosen by Gracie

“Even though the first Silent Hill is one of the better video game adaptations the poster is so flat and uninteresting. There’s so much going on and yet nothing at all. The sealed mouth makes zero sense and the way the monsters are just slapped in at random and do not even remotely look interesting.” – Gracie

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We can (mostly) agree that the movies attached to these covers but seeing them at the theatre, Family Video, and streaming platforms (Sorry about that, Gracie had a moment of nostalgia for big video stores until she remembered having to go out to get them and rental fees).

Let us know if there are any you agree with and show us your lame covers for awesome movies!

Published inTop Ten Tuesday

One Comment

  1. Haha, I love this list. I agree 100% with all of these… except the Black Panther one. I’m with Lilyn, sorry. 😂

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