Hello, my Fearlings!
Welcome back to the Snark Attack! I kind of missed last month (oops!) but we’re back and just as Snarktastic as ever. If you’re new to the Snark Attack posts you can check them out here: Blood in the Water: Snark Attack, Snark Attack: Round Two, Snark Attack: Round 3, Snark Attack: Round 4, Snark Attack Round 6, and Snark Attack is Back! Don’t worry, you’re not seeing things. Somehow I missed a number 5.
Please remember that the poking at movies is all in good fun. I’ve been using movies mostly from my own collection that I’ve watched often enough to know them well. So I don’t exactly hate them. But, no movie is flawless (well, very few, there are a few perfect ones). Also, be aware of spoilers for Tommyknockers, Sinister, Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, Village of the Damned (1995), Night of the Living Dead
Oh boy. This movie. My opinion is only slightly tainted by the book as it’s been forever since I’ve read it. One thing I do remember, very clearly, is that Ruth collects dolls. Which she does in the movie. Fair enough. However, I highly doubt any law enforcement would let her keep her doll collection in the police station, as she does in the movie. I’d think it would kind of undermine her authority if the populace pictured her playing with her Raggedy Ann and Andy in her off hours. Also, and this is just a generic gripe. The acting. Especially in the secondary characters.
I really love Sinister. I think it’s creepy and had a good introduction to a new, myth-based monster. My only thing with it (and this could be me having missed something so let me know) but how in the heck did the kids get the adults up in the tree in the one murder? Or were they magic’d up there by Bughuul?
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary
I have to be honest. This isn’t really one of my top movies, I bought it because I found it for two bucks and I love the song at the end. “I Will Always Be There” by Niki Harris is amazing. Anyway, onto the movie. David and Samantha are twins but at the end of the movie she seems fairly meh about her brother’s death. Also, regarding said brother’s death…He and Samantha go to Grace’s house. Grace and Samantha leave to go to the school to find Mary’s body (I think). David goes somewhere and learns that their stepfather was who actually killed Mary. David then goes home and their stepfather kills him. Which I find two things wrong with. In this sequence of events, Bill (the stepfather) has no reason to kill David. There is no confrontation, Bill doesn’t (or, at the very least, shouldn’t) have any reason to think they know what he did. It makes zero sense. Also, I’m no expert by any means, but the way David is killed, it doesn’t look like it would kill him. Bill sticks a trash bag over David’s head and smothers him with it. I guess. The problem is there is a lot of room in that bag, it’s not tight to the face and it’s so unconvincing that until a scene or two later, when it’s confirmed that David is dead, I honestly didn’t think he was dead in the movie’s reality.
Village of the Damned (1995)
I think Village of the Damned is an often overlooked gem. It may not be as great as the original but it’s good, nonetheless. In fact, and this could be in the original movie, as well, I only have about three issues with it and they’re pretty minor. First off, the barrier makes news, I believe national news. There are a hundred or so women that get pregnant after the dose of alien knock-out (and knock-up) drops. It’s pretty generally assumed that everyone kind of understand that this isn’t normal and something strange is going on. But yet, Rip Torn leaves his wife because she got pregnant while he was gone. The baby couldn’t possibly be his. Well, duh, Rip! Have you not noticed the theme here? So, douche points for him. When one of the children is young (the little white-haired ringleader girl) she gets some hot stuff on her hand and so telepathically commands her mother to stick her hand in a pot of boiling water as punishment. Wouldn’t that be an emotional response? And, this next one is on me for being uneducated about birds, I’m sure the birdie people and fans of the book will probably be amused by this. I had no idea what “The Midwich Cuckoos” (John Wyndham) meant. Had no clue on the wordplay there. Not until I watched an episode of Fruits Basket where one of the main characters (Hana) explains that the cuckoo birds push out the real eggs to trick the other birds into hatching them. I have to applaud the wonderful analogy and wordplay involved in that title. Before we leave The Midwich Cuckoos I would also like to point out a fun bit of trivia: the Midwich Elementary is a very important location in Silent Hill. Ther’s also a Wyndham Street.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Night of the Living Dead is a nice, tight zombie movie with some great acting. It also pulls no punches in some scenes. The ending is a gut-punch all of its own. I would have loved to hear the theatre gasp on that one when it was first shown. And who could forget the mother/daughter encounter in the cellar? It’s also almost one of the first zombie movies so the things they try or don’t know are reasonable. Except Barbara. Barbara is utterly useless throughout the whole movie. I can’t help but think they might have survived better by, um, thinning the ranks.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of Snark Attack. I certainly had fun writing it! If have any movie suggestions, I’d be happy to hear them!
GracieKat was the first co-host of Sci-Fi & Scary, Lilyn’s partner-in-crime, and sub-head of the Kali Krew. She reviews horror books, movies, and games for the site. She also does a weekly Focus on the Frightful feature, and is the site list-maker. She is also in control of the Sci-Fi & Scary podcast which will relaunch soon.