TAKE THE BOOK JURASSIC PARK – REMOVE THE DINOSAURS – REPLACE THEM WITH ZOMBIES
Ben Cutler just wants an honest way to make a lot of money! Unemployed and on the short end of the employment stick, he knows his chances of getting a traditional job is slim to never. Ever resourceful and always a forward thinker, Ben comes up with a brilliant idea—Zombie Park! Create a park with zombies, sell tickets and people will come by the hundreds. To his surprise, one of the richest men in the world backs his project and makes Ben an instant millionaire!
Scientists Nicholas and Kathy Hollman have been commissioned by General Wilbur Poe to create “smart zombies” to be used on the battlefield instead of live soldiers. With glory in his eyes, Nicholas is determined to not only create the formula, but cut his wife out of the equation and take all the credit himself. Unfortunately for Nicholas, Kathy is the brain behind everything they do.
Robert Forenstein has found the perfect cover for the smart zombie project in Ben Cutler’s Zombie Park. He and General Poe will make America the first country to use zombies as weapons of mass destruction and make billions in the process! As with all plans, everyone has their own agenda and the Zombie Park project is no different. The plan rapidly unravels as Nicholas botches the experiments and is inadvertently creating an army of out of control zombies. With a trail of bodies in their wake, neither the Hollmans nor Forenstein realize the true motives behind General Poe’s zombie army…and it ain’t to save the world!
Zombie Park Review
Okay, I get that this book is supposed to be funny because it’s outrageous. I do. In fact, the supposed silliness was one of the things that attracted to me to the book. However, within the first chapter I was already rolling my eyes and could feel the irritation building up in me. What is supposed to be wittily amusing writing is just… Well, being nice, let’s just say it’s not the best writing I’ve ever read. In one paragraph, the word ‘zombies’ is used 4 times. It’s a zombie book. You don’t have to constantly repeat the word. It needs proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors at minimum. I’d suggest a very firm editor with a very large red pen for the best case scenario.
“He had to notify the press of the zombie park coming within a year. They knew the news would cause some protesting from the public, but plans were already in the work to combat against it.”
I’d be more worried about the legal repercussions. In fact, this continues like this throughout. It’s like there’s absolutely no thought or worry about consequences of people’s actions in this story. In order for something to be entertaining, it needs to be at least a little bit grounded in reality. From the undead chimp who can somehow magically write “What are your orders” with a pen and a piece of paper to the thirty-six foot great white, this is pure absurdity. It feels like the author didn’t bother to fact-check a single line in this jumble of words and punctuation marks. I even tried adjusting my mindset to ‘so bad it’s good Syfy movie’ and this book still failed to do anything other than irritate me.
Zombie Park may just be the worst zombie book I’ve ever read. It has absolutely nothing other than the idea going for it. Actually… this might be in the running for the worst book I’ve ever read, period. Dear God.