I recently talked one of my blogger friends into doing a buddy read with me. ( I have to say, she’s entirely too trusting because she said yes before I even showed her what book I had in mind! ) But even though I’m her ‘Sadistic Teacher’, I’m not truly sadistic, and had picked a book I thought would be the perfect type of read for her self-professed wimpy self. And – luckily! – it was a great book that we both loved!
So, of course, that got me thinking what other books I’d recommend to her, and that turned into a list for everyone when I saw what Broke and Bookish had up for their topic for August 15th.
Ten Horror Book Recommendations for Self-Professed Wimps
These books embrace the cheese. They give you gore, action, adventure, and giggles all mixed together. There might be strong language, maybe even a bit of sexual situations (though not too many as that’s not something I like to see a lot of), but in terms of ‘scare’, these horror books rate low on the scale. They gradually shift from modern horror to more of a classic feel. The stories there are more in the ‘creepy’ realm than gore-spattering arena (or the gore is balanced with giggles). They’re a safe bet for entertainment, and you can tell your friends you’re reading horror now!
The Haunted Forest Tour by Jeff Strand
Sit back and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature’s most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you’ll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
-This is the book that kicked the idea for this list off. Stupid funny, non-stop action, and characters you love to love or love to hate, you aren’t going to go wrong here. And oh, my god, the quotable lines.-
The Last Colossus by Michael Hodges
Rugged adventure guide and “player” Ron Combs leads a group of thrill-seekers to an island off Washington’s coast. But when devastating lava flows destroy their boat and overtake the island, Ron and his clients are forced one-by-one into the sea, where a gigantic prehistoric predator awaits.
Trapped between the lava-covered island and the huge jaws of an ancient shark, Ron teams up with his client Rachel to devise a way to keep everyone safe…even if it means sacrificing himself in the process, and finally changing his ways.
Just Add Water by Hunter Shea
It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:
Just add water . . . and watch them grow!
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .
WAIT UNTIL FEEDING TIME.
It’s been years since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .
Monstrum: Bella Monstrum by Ann Christopher
Few places on earth engender as much primal fear as the mysterious and forbidding Bermuda Triangle. With good reason.
A bizarre plane crash at sea leaves Bria Hunter and her high school classmates trapped in a chilling race for survival.
Will Bria and her friends escape from the evil presence before it’s too late?
In the mood for a nerve-shredding tale of horror on the high seas that keeps you turning pages with the lights on all night? Then grab Monstrum today!
Apocalypse Cow by Michael Logan
When scientists with warped imaginations accidentally unleash an experimental bioweapon that transforms Britain’s animals into sneezing, bloodthirsty zombies with a penchant for pre-dinner sex with their victims, three misfits become the unlikely hope for salvation.
Abattoir worker Terry Borders’ love life is crippled by the stench of death that clings to his skin from his days spent slaughtering cows; teenage vegan Geldof ‘Scabby’ Peters alternates between scratching furiously at his rash and baiting his overbearing New Age mother; and inept journalist Lesley McBrien struggles forlornly in the shadow of her famous war correspondent father and the star journalist at the Glasgow Tribune.
When Britain begins a rapid descent into chaos and ministers cynically attempt to blame al-Qaeda, Lesley stumbles upon proof that the government is behind the outbreak. During her bumbling quest to unveil the truth, she crosses paths with Terry and Geldof, and together they set out to escape a quarantined Britain with the evidence and vital data that could unlock a cure for the virus.
Standing in the way are rampaging hordes of animals, a ruthless security agent and an army ready to shoot anybody with a case of the sniffles on the off-chance the virus has mutated.
Three losers. Overwhelming odds. A single outcome: the world is screwed.
The Longest Con by Michaelbrent Collings
Would you like to know – I mean, REALLY know – what they’re doing when they go to those fancy comic-cons? Because it ain’t just writing.
See, every year, thousands of people attend comic-cons dressed as monsters.
Of course, you probably already knew that.
But did you ALSO know that…
every year, thousands of MONSTERS attend comic-cons dressed as PEOPLE.
Sure. Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong there.
Luckily, the con organizers have placed Wardens throughout the conventions. These undercover supernatural troubleshooters are tasked with stopping mayhem before it starts . . . or solving the murders after they happen.
I’M MICHAELBRENT COLLINGS: author of this book, and one of the Wardens. My job is to go to the cons, where I sell books, make fans, and kill the occasional monster.
It’s not just me, either. Those authors I told you about, and even more . . . you’d never guess what many of your favorite authors are REALLY up to at the conventions.
Luckily, though, you don’t have to guess.
Property of a Lady by Sarah Rayne
A house with a sinister past – and a grisly power – When Michael Flint is asked by American friends to look over an old Shropshire house they have unexpectedly inherited, he is reluctant to leave the quiet of his Oxford study. But when he sees Charect House, its uncanny echoes from the past fascinate him – even though it has such a sinister reputation that no one has lived there for almost a century. But it’s not until Michael meets the young widow, Nell West, that the menace within the house wakes . . .
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
First published in 1959, Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House has been hailed as a perfect work of unnerving terror. It is the story of four seekers who arrive at a notoriously unfriendly pile called Hill House: Dr. Montague, an occult scholar looking for solid evidence of a “haunting”; Theodora, his lighthearted assistant; Eleanor, a friendless, fragile young woman well acquainted with poltergeists; and Luke, the future heir of Hill House. At first, their stay seems destined to be merely a spooky encounter with inexplicable phenomena. But H
Hill House is gathering its powers—and soon it will choose one of them to make its own.
A Pleasing Terror: The Complete Supernatural Writings by M.R. James
The ghost stories of M. R. James need no introduction. They are widely considered the very best classical supernatural tales ever committed to paper, and a testimony to their quality and universal appeal is the fact that James’s Collected Ghost Storieshas remained in print since its first publication in 1931. James’s ghost stories are a towering achievement, and they continue to dominate the genre more than a century after they first began to appear.
Ash-Tree Press has published collections by many of the writers who followed James and sought to emulate him, and is now proud to have published A Pleasing Terror, which collects all of M. R. James’s writings on the supernatural. In addition to the thirty-three stories from Collected Ghost Stories, this volume includes a further three stories, seven story drafts left amongst his papers, all of his introductions and prefaces to his various collections, and his article ‘Stories I Have Tried to Write’. In addition, there are the texts of twelve medieval ghost stories discovered and published by James, all of his articles about the ghost story, and his writings on J. Sheridan Le Fanu.
Black Spirits and White: A Book of Ghost Stories by Ralph Adams Cram
This collection of literature attempts to compile many of the classic works that have stood the test of time and offer them at a reduced, affordable price, in an attractive volume so that everyone can enjoy them. This synopsis does the book no justice. It has some very creepy, gore-free stories in it.
Thanks for checking out our Top Ten Horror Books for Self-Professed Wimps and let us know your favorites!