Twilight Zone Tuesday – Long Live Walter Jameson

Long Live Walter Jameson

Professor Walter Jameson/Tom Bowen/Major Hugh Skelton – Kevin McCarthy
Professor Sam Kittridge – Edgar Stahli
Susanna Kittridge – Dodie Heath
Laurette Bowen – Estelle Winwood

Trigger Warnings (highlight to see) : Suicidal thoughts, almost completes tries it


Continue reading “Twilight Zone Tuesday – Long Live Walter Jameson”

Twilight Zone Tuesday – A World of Difference

A World of Difference

Arthur Curtis/Gerry Reagan – Howard Duff
Nora Reagan – Ellen Ryan
Mr. Brinkley – David White


We open on a comfy looking office. Complete with pen stand, a picture of the wife and little girl, and an empty ashtray. The desk is completely clean. There’s also a lamp, another table and a statue of a horse? Odd office decoration.

SERLING:
You’re looking at a tableau of reality. Things of substance, a physical material. A desk, a window, a light. These things exist and have dimension. Now this is Arthur Curtis, age 36, who also is real. He has flesh and blood, muscle and mind. But in just a moment we will see how thin a line separates that which we assume to be real with that manufactured inside of a mind.

As Serling narrates we see Arthur strolling about his office and whistling. A very attractive secretary enters. Arthur and she chat a bit about Arthur’s wife and their daughter, Tina. Tina’s having a birthday party on Saturday and they haven’t gotten a thing for it yet. Well, shame on you, Arthur and Mrs. Arthur! They chat about business and contracts for a bit. Blah, blah, blah. He asks her to change some plane reservations to Saturday night. Sounds like he’s going out to bid on something or other and he and the wife are making a vacation out of it. He whistles around the office a bit more and tries to make a call. Excited yet? The phone doesn’t work though. Apparently telephone service is really bad in the Twilight Zone. He gets up all huffy and goes to see what’s up with the phones.

As Arthur walks toward the door we hear a man call, “Cut!” Arthur turns to see where it came from and when he turns there’s now a camera crew behind him. Arthur stares at them and they stare back at him for a while. Arthur looks confused as he takes it all in. A guy in a wool suit jacket and checked shirt (yikes) calls him Gerry. He wants to know what’s so hard about making a pretend phone call.

Arthur still looks super confused and the checked shirt guy (who also has one side of his head bleached and the other dark) still can’t understand why Arthur/Gerry is just staring at them. He says his name is Marty, the friendly movie director. Dun, dunn!

Arthur/Gerry runs to the secretary’s office. She’s got her feet kicked up, smoking and reading the paper. She calls him Mr. Reagan, too, though. A man comes up to Arthur/Gerry and tells him that Marty won’t take it anymore and to behave himself. Marty comes over to them and the agent tells Marty that it’s no big deal, just a gag. Marty asks if Arthur/Gerry wants to try the scene again and then reminds Arthur/Gerry what the scene is. Arthur/Gerry freaks out and wants to know what the hell is going on and that he doesn’t know any of them.

Arthur/Gerry runs for the phone and tries to dial out again. Marty tells a stage hand to call an ambulance but don’t tell Arthur/Gerry because there’s no telling what he’ll do. Marty tries to get Arthur/Gerry to go take it easy in his dressing room. Arthur/Gerry yells that his name is Arthur Curtis and tromps off. The director calls lunch and Arthur zooms off through the set and backstage.

Arthur/Gerry tries to make a call from the set but can’t seem to remember what his home number is so he calls information, asking for the number of Arthur Curtis. He gives Information his name and address but Information tells Arthur/Gerry that there is no phone there. Oh goody, it’s going to be one of these. Some dude trying to convince other people he exists/is who he says he is. Anywho, he tells them it’s his home and there is a phone there. From his end of the conversation it sounds like Information is asking what his number is. If he knew that he wouldn’t be calling you now, would he? Information isn’t being very Informative. To be fair to Arthur/Gerry it took me forever to remember what my home phone was. He gets angry at the hapless Operator and he asks to talk to their supervisor.

Marty wants to talk to Arthur/Gerry because he doesn’t think Arthur/Gerry is well. Arthur/Gerry says he’s getting the hell out of there and going home. This oughta be good. He takes off out of the door with Marty close behind. As Arthur/Gerry runs out of the door he’s almost run over by what looks like a Chevrolet convertible. Pretty sure it’s a Chevy, this is the closest logo I could find to match:

The Beautiful Blonde behind the wheel jumps out and asks if he’s crazy. Fair enough question at this point. She apparently knows Arthur/Gerry because she grabs him and threatens him with an, “If you’re drunk again so…” She doesn’t get to finish her sentence but I’ll bet it ended something like this “so help me I’ll -” fill in the blank.He tells her to get his hands off of him. She goes volcanic, telling him that she doesn’t care if he gets fired and never works again but he will pay her the money the judge said he should or she’ll throw his butt in jail. I’m sure the rest of his body will be attached. Hm. I don’t see a kid. Can guys go to jail for missing alimony payments?

Marty calls her Mrs. Reagan and she’s very specific that she’s the EX Nora Reagan. Marty says he needs to talk to her but she says forget it. Arthur/Gerry is coming with her but she’ll have him back after lunch. Marty says that’s not what he means. He tells Nora that he’s called an ambulance, he’s worried Arthur/Gerry is having a breakdown. Arthur/Gerry decides this is a good time to get a little Grand theft auto in his resume and hops in the driver’s seat. Ms. Nora laughs at the thought of an ambulance. Marty insists he’s serious but she hops in the passenger side with nary a peep about Arthur/Gerry stealing the wheel. Ok, I’m a bit of a control freak so if I’m in my own car you can bet your booty I’M the one driving. Not to mention, if I recall rightly, she just accused him of being drunk So, as far as she knows he might be drunk and having a nervous breakdown. But she feels hunky-dory about letting him drive? Uh-uh. Not me. Especially as he burns rubber leaving the lot.

After speedy racing through back lot alleys Nora does something then grabs the key, saying he;s going to end up killing them both. Now she decides she’s going to tell him no, rather than, oh say when they were parked. I will say he’s got some big brass ones because he tells her he doesn’t know who she is but he’s going to drive himself home and then she can have her car back. How generous of him.She thinks he’s angling out of paying her by acting crazy. He runs through his stats again: Name, wife, daughter and address. Then they take off again.

Back at the studio a guy (maybe the agent?) is talking to some Head Honcho named Mr. Brinkley on the phone. the Agent is reassuring (sort of) Mr. Brinkley that Arthur/Gerry isn’t drunk, he just might be going crazy. No biggie. He thinks that Gerry Reagan thinks he’s actually the character from the movie – Arthur Curtis.

Arthur/Gerry and the ex-Missus are cruising around a nice suburb. He doesn’t understand. He knows the address but nothing looks familiar. Nora snarkily asks if he wants an award or something for the act. He starts to say his name is Arthur but she tells him to cut it out, she’s not interested. She tells him to go ahead and play it out, she could care less. As he’s walking up to a house to ask where Ventner Road is he spies a little girl and calls her Tina. Uh-oh. This isn’t going to end well for Arthur/Gerry. He runs over to her and grabs her by the shoulders, calling her Tina. The little girl screams and runs away from the creepy guy.

Nora pulls up in the car and yells at Arthur/Gerry to get in. Probably before the people call the cops on the creepy guy. As they drive by the kid is pointing out the scary man.

They take off and pull into a driveway. Brinkley must be there because Nora wonders what he wants. Arthur/Gerry says (again) that he wants to go home. She tells him that is home so quit whining. I may have added the quit whining. Mr Brinkley is in the house ready and waiting for Arthur/Gerry Isn’t that breaking and entering? Mr. Brinkley is also Mr. Drysdale from The Beverly Hillbilles. Nora starts to drag Arthur/Gerry off, presumably to get his checkbook and/or cash. She wants her money before Arthur/Gerry spends it on a binge Arthur tries to explain, yet again, that he’s not who they think he is. Nora wants to know where he keeps his checkbook and threatens to tear the house apart looking for it. Brinkley says they can’t cover for him anymore and that if he loses this job, he’s done. Arthur/Gerry tries to interrupt. Mr. Brinkley tells Arthur/Gerry to take it easy today, he’ll tell them Arthur/Gerry is sick.

Nora grabs him to sign a check and helpfully spells out his name for him. Rinse and repeat on the whole “I’m not Gerry” thing. In fact, so far that’s almost the only thing he’s said so far. He tries to call his workplace only for the operator to tell him the place does not exist.  He starts freaking out. Nora and Mr. Brinkley are looking at him like he’s a very sad little man. Arthur/Gerry puts his head down.

Mr. Brinkley is perched on the arm of a chair, watching Arthur/Gerry thoughtfully. He looks uncomfortable as hell. Just sit in the damn chair, dude.  Arthur/Gerry asks Mr. Brinkley if he believes him. Brinkley dances around the question by saying he thinks Arthur/Gerry is overworked and needs help. He picks up a shooting script and shows Arthur/Gerry the cast of characters listing an Arthur Curtis, aged 36 as one of the characters. Mr. Brinkley thinks that Gerry is crazy, basically. That he wanted to slip out of the life of the drunken, unhappily married Gerry and into the perfect life of Arthur Curtis. Arthur starts to say that Mr Brinkley thinks that all this is a delusion, that he’s really Gerald Reagan, a drunken, – but Mr. Brinkley cuts him off by saying a sweet, unhappy man, saddled with the vulture downstairs.

Um, if Gerry married her willingly then how did he become ‘burdened’ with her? Unless she was nice before they got married. But if he really is Gerry Reagan and drinks a lot then maybe there’s a reason she’s so bitchy to him.

Mr. Brinkley tells him to forget the movie, they’ve cancelled production on it. Because the main star flipped out? That’s a little weird. It seems like it would be cheaper to replace him than scrap the picture altogether. Mr. Brinkley says that Arthur Curtis is dead and drops the script in the trash. Arthur/Gerry isn’t listening and just says that he’s got to get back to his office. Mr. Brinkley says they’re probably tearing down the set right now.

Arthur freaks out and takes off in Mr. Brinkley’s car. Get your own damn car Gerry! A high speed drive ensues as Arthur tries to get back before it’s gone. He makes it back and sits in his office chair and quietly sobs, asking not to be left there. The lights come back up and he’s in his Arthur world with his wife, Marion. She wants to know where he’s been. He just wants to gtfo of the office before he’s sucked back to the other world. sally gives him the plane tickets they talked about earlier. Very faintly Arthur can hear the crew talking about tearing down the set. He rushes his wife out of there.  He doesn’t want to wait for their vacation and wants to leave right now for it. Are you forgetting your daughter’s birthday? Either they did or the scriptwriters did.

The camera gets a bit fuzzy and fades through the office door. On the other side are the film crew, busily tearing down the set. Mr. Brinkley shows up, looking for Gerry. The crew guy says he saw Gerry but didn’t see him leave. In fact, nobody saw him leave. They check the dressing room but he’s not there. Mr. Brinkley wonders where Gerry is. The camera pans back to show us the movie title: The Private World of Arthur Curtis.

SERLING:
The modus operandi for the departure from life is usually a pine box of such and such dimensions. And this is the ultimate reality. But there are other ways for a man to exit from life. Take the case of Arthur Curtis, age 36. His departure was along a highway, with an exit sign that reads “This way to escape”. Arthur Curtis, en route to the Twilight Zone.


There’s really not much to say about this one. Escaping from a busy, harsh or unpleasant life into an alternate world or the past is a common theme in the Twilight Zone. And, frankly, they are some of the more boring episodes. Except for “Of Late I think of Cliffordville” but that’s mostly because Julie Newmar plays an awesome (and  extremely sexy) Devil.


Join me again next Tuesday for: Long Live Walter Jameson (which is a really good episode).

Twilight Zone Tuesday – Mirror Image

Mirror Image

Millicent Barnes – Vera Miles
Paul Grinstead – Martin Milner
Ticket Agent – Joseph Hamilton
Washroom Attendant – Naomi Stevens

We’re at a Bus Depot and there’s a raging thunderstorm outside. Inside the Bus Depot there’s a woman sweeping the floors and a young lady sitting on a bench with a hat and raincoat on, her suitcase on the floor beside her. The bus must be late. She’s checking her watch and looking at the clock on the wall. She walks to the older man behind the counter. She asks very politely about the bus to Cortland. she says it’s an hour overdue and is wondering when it might be in. The man, not even looking up from his newspaper, says he’s not sure. It’s raining and the roads are slick. Also, there might be a bridge or two out. Must be one hell of a rainstorm. She asks again if he can give an estimate at least. He says “it’ll get here when it gets here.” He also claims he told her that once already. She doesn’t understand what he’s talking about since that’s the first time she’s asked.

She just wants a civil answer and he says she’s getting one but needn’t expect a civil answer every ten minutes. I guess he has a time limit on his politeness. He tells her that she asked an hour ago, a half hour ago and just now. My god man! When will you find the time in your busy newspaper reading day to answer a question?

She insists that this is the first time she’s been up there to ask and starts to suggest that perhaps he gets his eyes checked. She stops when she sees a suitcase just like hers in the baggage check area. she’s surprised and looks but her bag is still right where it was sitting. He catches her staring at the other suitcase and wants to know what the matter is. She looks very confused but tells him that nothing is the matter.

Serling:
Millicent Barnes, age 25, young woman waiting for a bus on a rainy November night. Not a very imaginative type is Miss Barnes, not given to undue anxiety or fears or, for that matter, even the most temporal flights of fancy. Like most young career women, she has a generic classification as a Quote – “Girl with a head on her shoulders” – End quote. All of which is mentioned now because in just a moment the head on Miss Barnes’ shoulders will be put to the test. Circumstances will test her sense of reality and a chain of nightmares will ut her sanity on a block. Millicent Barnes, who in one minute will wonder if she’s going mad.

During Serling’s voice-over Millicent is staring at her suitcase. Which, to me, actually looks a little more beat up than the one she saw in the baggage area. She approaches the desk and the clerk (rather snottily) asks if she wants to run through the time again. She says no, but says it strikes her as odd that the suitcase looks just like hers, right down to the broken handle. He’s looking at her like she’s crazy and wants to know if she’s playing some kind of game. Again she doesn’t understand. He tells her that it’s her bag and that she’d checked it herself. She tells him that he must be mistaken and goes to point at her bag. It’s no longer on the floor.

He tells her to go sit down on the bench. That she must be sleepwalking or hungover or something. He tells her to go sit down and “breathe through your nose”. Was that like a cure for hysteria or something at one time? The Twilight Zone has an odd obsession with telling people to “calm down and breathe through their noses”.

He’s in a red hot rush to get back to his magazine (must be a Playboy) and tells her that when the bus gets there she’ll hear the motor, see the people disembark and she’ll know the bus is there. She starts to tell him that the suitcase isn’t hers. Hers was sitting on the floor and she hadn’t checked it yet. He just stares at her so she stops and goes to sit back down (presumably to breathe through her nose). She looks back at the bag but catches the old guy giving her the evil eye so she stops.

After getting bored with breathing through her nose she goes into the Ladies Room. The cleaning lady gives her a peculiar look. Millicent stares at herself for a moment before rinsing her hands off. The cleaning lady wants to know if she’s ok. Millicent (a little snippy herself) says she’s fine. And doesn’t she look all right? The cleaning lady says Millicent looks fine but when she was in there before…I think we can all see where this is going.

Millicent says she wasn’t in there before. The cleaning woman says that Millicent was just there a few moments ago. Millicent insists that she’s never, ever been in there. Then she kind of flips out on the poor woman who was just trying to be nice. Millicent says the only thing wrong is “you people” need some sleep or something. As she’s giving her harangue she’s opening the door and sees the waiting room reflected in the mirror. In the mirror she sees herself sitting on the bench in the waiting room (let’s hope she’s still breathing through her nose, lord knows what shenanigans may ensue if she breathes through her mouth).

Millicent slams the door and the cleaning woman offers to get her a cool cloth, she’s sure Miss Barnes is ill. She goes to wet a cloth. It’s kind of gross because it looks like the same one she was just wiping down the counters with. Millicent refuses the cloth (smart move) and says she’ll be all right. Now she thinks that she herself must be tired. She whips open the door and the Millicent on the bench is gone but her suitcase is back on the floor, it now has a tag on it.

She keeps looking at the grouchy clerk and is approaching him to ask him something. On the way she sees a couple on a bench. A woman and a man. the man’s snoozing using his wife’s ample bust for pillows. Millicent asks the woman if she saw anyone sitting on Millicent’s bench. The lady replies no, but she wasn’t really looking. They want to know if everything’s ok. She says yes, she thought it might be someone she knew. She apologizes and walks away and the gentleman goes back to snoozing on the booby pillow.

She starts wondering if she’s delusional so she wonders if she’s sick. She checks for a fever. Nope, no fever. A gentleman approaches her and hands her a pocketbook that she dropped. They have a chat about the bus being late and we get the fascinating details of why he’s taking the bus. Apparently vehicles are useless when it rains. His flight was cancelled and he had to take a cab to the bus station. The cab skidded and hit a tree so he walked to the bus depot from there. Seriously, were cars that freaking terrible in 1959 or did people just never drive in the rain?

She’s zoning out a bit and he asks if she’s ill. Because a woman must be ill to not be fascinated with his story. She says she’s fine but doesn’t really know what she’s feeling. He wants to know if there’s anything he can do. Millicent tells him that all sorts of peculiar things have been happening to her all night. She tells him she’s been seeing things and he wants to know what sorts of things. She doesn’t really want to say because she’s afraid he’ll run away, call the police or an ambulance.

He introduces himself as Paul Grinstead and offers her his help, if he can assist her. She introduces herself and tells him about the job she left and is on her way to a new one in Buffalo. She gives him a rundown of all the weird things happening. When she tells him about the bag she freaks out momentarily because it’s not right there. Helpful Paul points it out just around the corner of the bench. She tells him about seeing herself on the bench and kind of trails off. Paul tells her it must be delusions. She agrees but says she’s not sick and doesn’t have a fever. Millicent also wants to know why the woman and clerk insist that she’s been there before.

She asks him what’s wrong with her. How the he’ll is he supposed to know? He’s known you for literally a minute (I checked). She swears she’s not done sort of kook and has never had mind problems before. He agrees way too quickly. He thinks there has to be an explanation. Maybe someone there resembles her? Maybe someone’s playing a joke on her? That’s always a first suggestion in the Twilight Zone. With as elaborate as some of these things are that would be one big ass practical joke.

She thinks these suggestions are too fantastic and even if it were true where is the woman? The bus rolls in, saving Paul from having to answer. The clerk announces the bus and Millicent gets up to leave. Paul offers to carry her bag for her. What a nice man. Yeah. Stick around. They go outside to get on the bus. She gets her ticket taken but then sees something that freaks her out and she rushes back into the bus station. Paul follows her.

The camera shows us a smug looking Fake Millicent looking out of the bus window.

Apparently Millicent ran back into the bus depot and passed right out because now she’s laying on the bench unconscious. The very nice cleaning lady brings a damp cloth for Millicent’s head (hopefully not the same one she was wiping the sinks with). The bus driver pops his head in and says they’ve got to go. Paul says they’ll get the next one. The cleaning lady goes to leave and tells Paul that Millicent needs some looking after and taps her head, implying Millicent is crazy. What better person to do that than a guy she just met, right?

Millicent wakes up and Paul asks if she’s feeling any better. Weirdly, he doesn’t ask what she freaked out about. I’m impressed that her hair hasn’t moved one inch out of place this whole time. She says that she’s been thinking (while she was unconscious?) and trying to remember something she heard or read. She starts talking about different planes of existence and parallel worlds. That each of us has a counterpart and sometimes through a freak of nature the planes overlap and the parallel world person gets to our world. But to stay they need to replace the original person. Move them out. Paul says that it’s too ‘metaphysical’ for him.

I see a couple holes in this theory. I’m skipping over it’s plausibility because we are in the Twilight Zone after all. In her theory the planes overlap at least briefly enough to touch. Then Fake Millicent either gets stuck here willingly or unwillingly. For Fake Millicent to stay wouldn’t Original Millicent have to die? Or take Fake Millicent’s place on the other side?

Anyways, Paul isn’t buying it and says again that there must be a rational explanation. She goes on a bit about her theory but saying pretty much the same things she’s been saying. And I have to admit she does look a bit crazy here. Paul stands up and says, “Hey! I just remembered! I have a friend nearby!” He says he’ll call his friend and his magically appearing friend will drive them both to Syracuse! How about that! Are you sure you want your friend to drive, Paul? I mean it is raining and all. Anyways, I smell a rat and it smells like a Paul.

Paul asks Millicent if he should call his friend but she’s lost in her thoughts (or staring blankly, it’s a bit hard to tell). Paul wanders over to the clerk. Unasked the clerk gives his opinion. he immediately says her parallel world theory is crazy and that she has a “leak in her attic”. Oh, go back to your porn old man.

Paul calls her a poor, poor kid and thinks she needs medical help. He wants to use the phone to call the police to get her some ‘help’. The clerk is just glad to get rid of her because she gives him the creeps.

Paul goes back to Millicent and asks if she wants to get a breath of air. Uh-oh, this can’t be good. As soon as they step outside a police car pulls up. Millicent tries to get away but they bundle her into the car and give Paul a Man-Nod. Don’t worry, Millicent dear, the menfolk are here to take care of you. The clerk asks if they got her and Paul says yes. Now that the pesky female is gone the clerk is much friendlier. He tells Paul he can take a nap there until the morning bus comes.

Paul makes himself a comfy spot on the bench but wants a drink of water first. As he lifts his head he notices that his suitcase is now missing. Someone jets out the door and Paul chases him. Which is a little stupid. The guy he’s chasing is very obviously not carrying a suitcase. As the camera pulls out we see that Paul is chasing…himself! And if the gif gods are generous today I will try to put a gif of the Other Paul running and grinning because it’s freaking hilarious. Gee Paul, I hope nobody comes along and throws you to the cops on the word of a total stranger.

And let’s go back to that for a second before Serling has his final say. Ok, so Paul knows this woman for an hour or two. Yes, she’s acting a little weird (and she’s far too trusting). Is she threatening bodily harm to him or herself? No? Then neither he nor the cops have the right to lock her up. By that reasoning I should be locked up for my dinosaur/dragon theory. Ok, take it away Rod.

Serling:
Obscure metaphysical explanation to cover a phenomenon. Reasons dredged out of the shadows to explain away that which cannot be explained. Call it parallel planes or just insanity. Whatever it is, you find it in the Twilight Zone.

Twilight Zone Tuesday – Elegy

Elegy

Season One – Episode 20 Elegy

Serling:
The time is the day after tomorrow; the place- A far corner of the universe; The cast of characters – 3 men lost amongst the stars 3 men sharing the common urgency of all men lost – they’re looking for home. And in a moment, they’ll find home. Not a home that is a place to be seen but a strange, unexplainable experience to be felt.

 

We get more rocket shots and the guys sitting around a table doing important, rocket scienc-y stuff. They figure out they’re going through atmosphere and hope “this is it”. What ‘it’ they’re hoping it is has yet to be explained. They get on their landing love seat together for the landing. It doesn’t seem much safer than the chairs they were sitting in, there’s no straps or anything.

They land and check the gauges. The air quality is remarkably similar to Earth even though they’re 655 million miles away from Earth. Pete goes to pop on out but the captain stops him, saying the instruments could be wrong. Pee doesn’t care because they’re low on fuel and not going anywhere anyways. The Captain agrees with him. Uh, you may not be able to go anywhere but I’d still be hesitant to go to a horrible death if the instruments were wrong. Pete crosses his fingers for luck and they head out. Pete pokes his head out and asks again how far they are from Earth. The Captain answers again and then we get to see what Pete sees. It looks like they’re on Earth.

Pete thinks thy’re back on Earth because it looks like Earth. There’s a farm and a dog. Pete tries calling the dog but it doesn’t move. And I can’t stop giggling at their spacesuits. They’re like coveralls with weird band thingies around the arms, legs and neck. And bright silver moon boots. Pete says it’s a farm, ergo, it must be Earth. Apparently Pete’s not the shiniest of light bulbs. Pete looks at a tractor and asks what it is. Dark Haired Space Man says that it’s a tractor. He tells Pete that they were in use on Earth before the Total War. So, if Pete doesn’t know what a tractor is how on Earth (pardon the pun) does he know that this is what Earth looks like.

They see a gentleman dressed like a farmer and go over to introduce themselves. The Captain is Webber and the dark haired guy is Kurt. The farmer seems to be frozen in place (despite the fact that he’s swaying a bit). I can’t knock him too badly though, it’s hard to stand perfectly still. The little old farmer man scares the crap out of our brave, intrepid astronauts and they haul ass out of there.

After they’re done running like the big heroes they are they find a bridge. As they’re walking over Pete spots a guy fishing from the bank. Pete hops down and asks how the fish are biting. He gets much the same response from the fisherman that he got from the farmer. Pete shakes the fisherman and accidentally tips him over.

Pete hears a band start up in the distance and starts freaking out that somebody must be there! He hears a band! I’m shaking my head over the fact that they actually expect to find people there. They run toward the noise and find a band (who, again, haven’t stopped moving before the camera was on them) with the music being piped in from somewhere. They go into a house where they see a frozen crowd and a frozen Mayor accepting a win.

Kurt suggests that it could be an illusion and Webber chimes in with someone could be making them see the sights and sounds of home that they want to see. Then Webber says no, that doesn’t fit because the sights they are seeing are 200 years before their time. Then they throw around a couple of more theories including a time warp. They figure out that since the people are real (or at least feel real) then someone real must be there. That’s…a big leap in logic but ok. They decide to separate and have a look around. Ah, the start of many a good horror movie. Or Scooby Doo episode.

Webber wanders through a club and checks out a frozen high stakes poker game. Kurt wanders through a hotel called The Royal Crest. Now, if it were me it’d probably have some NSFW poses in there but that’s just me. Also for some reason I just noticed Kurt is the only thing with shiny cuffs on his wrists. Weird. He knocks on a door and then opens it. He quickly turns his head away quickly like there is something sexy going on. But to my dismay it’s just a romantic dinner and two people dancing. I will say that using real people instead of mannequins was a stroke of genius (or cheapness). They are freaking creepy. Pete fares a little better. He wanders into a beauty pageant. After creepily eyeballing all of the women in their bathing suits he starts freaking out and yelling at the audience and the ‘contestants’. Which (sorry but I have to point this out) the women are swaying like crazy. But, again, I give them props for even staying somewhat still as they’re all on heels. As Pete runs out, one of the audience members turns to watch, giving an uber-creepy smile.

They regroup and go walking down the sidewalk. Kurt chats a bit about how everything is the way it used to be. Pete can’t believe that he likes it and Kurt responds that he would if it were real. Pete says it’s a nice place to visit but he wouldn’t want to stay. Webber says tough because for now it’s home. They walk up the sidewalk of a very nice house thinking it’s going to be theirs.There’s a figure on the porch but they pay it no mind, assuming it’s just another frozen peoplesicle. Pete mockingly asks the gentleman on the rocker if he minds that they look around.

He surprises them and says, “Not at all”. They all look at him in googly eyed surprise. While they’re speechless in surprise he introduces himself as Mr. Jeremy Wickwire. He tells them there’s nothing to be afraid of and Pete makes the brilliant deduction, “You’re real!”

Wickwire agrees that he’s real and invites them inside. He asks them if they like the house and says it was originally built for a Mr. Peterson but at the last minute Mr. Peterson decided he wanted to be a knight so he’s in the medieval section, slaying a dragon. They’re surprised that there are other sections. Wickwire says that there are Roman, Egyptian and Wild Western areas but the fifties section is the most popular. Ok. I think I’d go for riding a dragon but that’s just me.

Anywho, he says this is the most popular because it represents the height of creature comforts and before peace became impossible on Earth. Hmm, I think I hear a little Serling sneaking in there. Also, this was before video games so the height of creature comforts is a little presumptuous.

Webber tells Wickwire that they’re from Earth on a geological mission. Webber tells him that they ran into a meteor storm that knocked out their electronic space stuff and they’ve been lost for 6 months. They landed there, they have no gas so they’re staying there. Wickwire says he understands now that they’re not from the Glades. They don’t get what he means now. Wickwire wants to know if they ever had that Atomic War on Earth. Kurt says that yes, they did in 1985. Wow, the writer wasn’t too hopeful for humanity there was he? Most of the Earth’s surface was destroyed and it’s taken them 200 years to get back to where they are now. So, 200 years after atomic war we’ve mastered space travel but not love seats?

The crew wants some answers about the asteroid they’re on and Wickwire says he’ll answer all of their questions but why not eat a bite of lunch first? Pete wants to know exactly where they are. Wickwire says, “Why, you’re in a cemetery! Didn’t you know?” As they looked a bit stunned Wickwire chuckles to himself and goes off to make lunch.

Wickwire brings back a tray with some glasses and proposes a toast, to peace. Everlasting, eternal peace. I don’t know about you guys but that’s a bit of a creepy toast. Ever the helpful one, Kurt takes the glasses and passes them around. They want to know exactly what Wickwire meant when he said it’s a cemetery. Wickwire says it’s exactly that. A cemetery. Before he answers any questions, Wickwire wants some information from them. He asks them what their dearest wish would be. Where they would rather be, right now? Webber says they’d like to be on the ship, heading home. Pete and Kurt agree. Wickwire wants to know what the date was when they left. Webber replies that it was September of 2185.

Wickwire tells them that at first he thought they were the men from Happy Glades. They want to know what that is and he replies that it’s the best mortuary on Earth. Or at least used to be. The manager of Happy Glades came up with the plan to offer this particular service to those who could afford it. The service being to recreate the situations under which the dearly departed would be happiest. Again, I would go for riding a dragon or something cool like that. The rest of the ‘people’ there are imitations to fill out the crowd. Pete asks if Wickwire expects them to believe that. Wickwire honestly never thought of that. Webber says he buys it but why a million miles from Earth. Why didn’t they do it on Earth, in a piece of desert or something? Webber would like to know why. Wickwire says that since Happy Glades promised Everlasting Peace (hmmm, why does that sound familiar?) and that would be quite impossible on Earth.

Petewants to know what Wickwire has to do with it. Wickwire says that he is the caretaker. Pete wants to know when Happy Glades was created and Wickwire replies that it was started in 1973. So now they’re wondering how old he is. Wickwire tells them he’s something like a machine. When people are there he turns on but as soon as they’re gone he’ll go back off again. He  says he must have been off for about 200 years. For some reason this ticks Pete off and he starts charging toward Wickwire. Kurt holds him back though.

Webber tells Wickwire that they’re staying right there. Wickwire replies that he knows. Webber, Pete and Kurt are looking a little dizzy. Pete wants to know what he meant by ‘after they’re gone’ he’ll go back to sleep again. Wickwire tells them it was a figure of speech. Pete freaks out, saying that he told them they shouldn’t trust Wickwire. Which, I’ll point out, he never did. They start stumbling around and dropping. Kurt wants to know why, that they meant him no harm. Wickwire says he knows that and he’s really, really sorry. Webber begs Wickwire for the antidote. Wickwire says that there is no cure, the ‘Eternifying Fluid’ is already going to work. He promises them that it won’t be painful. Kurt wants to know why, why them? Wickwire says that “Because you are here and you are men and while there are men, there can be no peace.”

I get the (heavy-handed) point they’re trying to make but dude, it’s three guys on a deserted asteroid. Men who will grow old and die without procreating. So I really don’t think the murders were necessary. And yeah, I consider them murders since it was unprovoked and the ‘Eternifying’ solution technically kills them.

Our next shot is Wickwire dusting the spaceship and the men inside, frozen in their accustomed places. So, now I’m curious. Did they tell Wickwire where they usually sit or did he just place them randomly? And just happen to place them correctly?

 

Serling:
Kirby, Webber and Meyers, 3 men lost. They shared a common wish, a simple one, really – They wanted to be aboard their ship, headed for home. And fate, a laughing fate, a practical jokester with a smile that stretched across the stars saw to it that they got their wish with just one reservation – the wish came true, but only in the Twilight Zone.


Not one of the best. Mostly because the ‘moral’ makes no sense. Three guys, no women around. Wickwire could have just let them live out their lives. I also wondered why there was food there at all? Of course, it never does show Wickwire serving them actual food, just the Eternifying liquid.


Thanks for joining us and come again next week for another episode: Mirror Image (it’s a good one).

Twilight Zone Tuesday – The Purple Testament

The Purple Testament

Lt. William Fitzgerald – William Reynolds
Capt. Phil Riker – Dick York
Capt. Gunther – Barney Phillips
Smitty – Michael Vandever

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Twilight Zone Tuesdays – The Last Flight

The Last Flight

Lt. William Terrence Decker – Kenneth Haigh
Major General George Harper – Alexander Scourby
Major Wilson – Simon Scott
A.V.M. Alexander “Leadbottom” MacKaye, R.A.F. – Robert Warwick

Panning down from the Twilight Zone intro we pan down to see a fashionable guy in a scarf piloting a bi-plane.

Serling:
Witness Flight Leftenant William Terrence Decker, Royal Flying Corps, returning from a patrol somewhere over France. The year is 1917. The problem is that the lieutenant is hopelessly lost. Leftenant Decker will soon discover that a man can be lost not only in terms of maps and miles, but also in time. And time in this case can be measured in eternities.

During Serling’s monologue Lieutenant Decker seems to be lost in a fog and lands at an airport next to an Air Force jet. Then we see a sign that says ‘Welcome to Lafayette Air Base – Reims, France’. I’m guessing our pilot lost his way all the way to (Twilight Zone) present day. Guys with jeeps and guns hurry to the tarmac to scope out the intruder. He pulls over and they ask him to exit the aircraft. Guy in Charge wants to know where he’s from and asks what he means by landing his ‘antique’ on the runway. The pilot tells them that he’s English and he’s surprised by the base, he had no idea America was so advanced in their Air Force. They escort him to the Administration Building and to see Major General George Harper.

Lt. Decker approaches the desk and M.G. Harper wants to know what’s up. The escort says that Lt. Decker just landed his ‘ship’ there and starts to tell George Harper what exactly his ‘ship’ was. Does the Air Force really call planes ships? M.G. Harper asks who he is and Decker introduces himself as Second Leftenant, William Terrence Decker, sir, Royal Flying Corps.

Harper wants to know if there’s an air show in town but Decker doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then Harper wants to know if they’re making a film and why he’s in that costume. Decker replies that it’s his uniform. Harper doesn’t really know what to make of the guy. Decker wants to know where he is and Harper comes back with “Where do you think you are?”

Decker says he thought he was landing at 56 Squadron, RFC. The escort looks confused and says that was…somewhere. He trails off. Then he asks Decker what the date is. Decker replies that it’s March the 5th, 1917. They don’t believe him but he insists it is. They tell him it’s March the 5th, 1959. We get a zoom-in on Decker’s somewhat surprised face. They don’ believe him but Decker swears it’s true. He is rather shocked as well. Decker goes to the window and sees some jet planes which throws him for a loop. He sees the big cloud he was passing through and says that it was like being swallowed by a vacuum. Decker a;so says that the same thing happened to another pilot, he just disappeared while flying.

They, somewhat understandably, don’t believe him. Why he would be messing with them is another matter. Why on Earth would someone land a Bi-Plane on an Air Force runway for a prank?

Decker says that he and Mac were on the same squadron…but here Harper interrupts him saying, “Captain Mackaye, Captain Alexander Mackaye?” Because there’s only one guy nicknamed Mac in the entire world, I guess. Decker wants to know how Harper knows Mac and Harper is now even more suspicious because Air Vice Marshall Alexander MacKaye is on his way there now for a base inspection. Decker says that’s impossible because Alexander Mackaye is dead.

Next scene Harper and Escort Guy are checking out Decker’s belongings. Escort Guy says it’s ingenious. That everything could be checked on. Harper doesn’t want to waste the time. Escort Guy says that if it’s a hoax then it’s certainly an elaborate one. Harper wants to know what he means by ‘if’. I get that it’s hard to believe but again, why?? What would be the point? Remember, this is in the era before security was insanely tight just at airports. Harper is suspicious because he thinks it has something to do with MacKaye.

The other Major who somewhat believes Decker goes back to see him. Decker wants to know why he’s being kept prisoner there. The Major replies that he’s not exactly a prisoner there but Decker says it’s pretty much the same thing. They’re not letting him leave which is the same thing. The Major wants to know why Decker’s so afraid of seeing MacKaye. Decker protests that he’s not afraid of seeing Mac or anything else. Methinks he doth protest too much. Finally he says fine, he’ll see him. The Major (who they still haven’t named) asks again about the cloud. Decker says that he’s told the Major everything he knows.

The Major says that pilots from 1917 don’t just land on Air Force bases in 1959 every day. Decker says that it happened today, tells the Major to leave him alone, he already said he’d see Mac. Major asks if Decker really knows Mac. Decker says of course he does. Decker used to call him Old Leadbottom because he took some German gunfire to the booty during a fly-over. Hence the nickname Old Leadbottom. It was a private joke and being proud, Mac wouldn’t like it if he knew Decker bruited it about.

Major wants to know why Decker’s so sure that Mac is dead. Decker says the last time he saw Mac he was surrounded by seven German planes. Decker claims that he couldn’t do anything about it because he was involved with three other planes at the time. The Major says Mac must have survived because he went on to become one of the biggest Blitz heroes and, obviously, is alive in their time. Decker doesn’t see how it could be possible. During the Second World War. Won a lot of medals and such. Big hero, long story short.

Decker freaks out and tries to make a run for it. They get him before he gets out the door. The Major wants to know what’s wrong and Decker says that he can’t see Mac. The Major wants to know why not. Decker yells because he’s a coward! Decker, not Mac.

He says he’s a coward and always has been. Trying to pretend to be a hero. That’s how he got lost in the cloud, he was trying to run away. He prattles on a bit about boys laughing and joking and turning into ice-cold killers in the sky. But not him. He and Mac were supposed to go on patrols together but Decker usually talked him into splitting up. Mac would hope to run into trouble but Decker would linger in the clouds. He thought about giving himself up because pilots get the best treatment (is that true?) but he was too chicken to do that, even. He couldn’t bear to be discredited. He’s actually even fired shots through his plane to make it look like he’d run into trouble. Major says it’s no crime to be afraid and Mac would understand.

Decker says he won’t because he ditched Mac and left him to die. The Major says he must not have because he’s coming that day. This makes Decker look up. He begins to beg the Major to let him go. To let him go back in time or Mac won’t be alive to come there. The Major thinks he’s crazy but Decker isn’t giving him long to think it over. Decker decks the Major and takes off for his plane. Decker gets his plane started and tries to take off. The Major catches up to him but Decker insists and the Major lets him fly off into the wild blue yonder.

 

Back at the Air Force Base Harper wonders why Major let him go. The MacKaye we’ve been hearing so much of finally arrives. They ask him about Decker and he says, yes, he knew him. During that dogfight he thought Decker was ditching him. But then he dropped down out of nowhere and saved him. Decker was killed. Harper asks if his personal effects were sent back and Mac says no, they couldn’t find them. Harper shows him the effects they gathered from Decker when he was there. Mac recognizes them, thus proving it was really Decker that was there. The Major has a little giggle to himself over the Leadbottom nickname which Mac recognizes.

Serling:
Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: “There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in Heaven and Earth and in the sky, that perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between Heaven, The Sky, The Earth lies the Twilight Zone.

Twilight Zone Tuesday – The Fever

The Fever

The Fever Season One – Episode 17

Franklin Gibbs – Everett Sloane
Flora Gibbs – Vivi Janiss
Narrator – Rod Serling

There’s enough neon signs to let us know that yes, indeed, we are in Las Vegas. Let’s see, a roulette wheel, dice, cigarette girl, yup, it is a casino. Two suits from the casino approach a couple whom they call Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs. First Suit asks if they’re enjoying themselves and their room. First Suit says that it’s not every day they have ‘celebrated contest winners’. Second Suit chimes in with “no, just every other day” The Mrs. seems excited to be there but her husband (who looks quite a bit older than her) looks less than thrilled. Second Suit is the photographer for the casino and wants to get a picture for the Gibbs’ hometown newspaper. First Suit says he’ll get the picture off to the Elgin Bugle right away. he tells the Gibbs to enjoy themselves and remember they have unlimited credit. Mr. Gibbs still looks grouchy and First Suit walks away.

Serling:
Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs. 3 Days and 2 nights, all expenses paid at a Las Vegas hotel, won by Mrs. Gibbs’ knack with a phrase. Unbeknownst to either Mr. or Mrs. Gibbs is the fact that there’s a prize in that package neither expected nor bargained for. In just a moment one of them will succumb to an illness worse than any virus can produce. A most inoperative, deadly, life-shattering affliction known as “The Fever”.

Mrs. Gibbs is extremely excited to be there. “There’s such a flavor to the place!” Her words, not mine. Mr. Gibbs basically tells her to cram her flavor, he hates it there. He tells her she knows how he feels about gambling. Flora says it’s different there but Franklin disagrees. Gambling is gambling and it’s an immoral den of iniquity. I’m paraphrasing a bit. He tells Flora that it’s her vacation, she won it. But he’s going to do his damndest to make sure she doesn’t enjoy it.

Flora tells him to try and enjoy it if he can. A lady wins the hundred grand jackpot and they bring it to her a nice big bowl of cash. Ok, I don’t know casino history but did they really do that? It seems a little unsafe to me. Flora eyeballs the Super Jackpot machine. Bad idea Flora. It just paid out. Then a different machine catches her eye. She has the temerity to put a nickel in the machine and Franklin freaks out, snatching her arm away. He says she might as well throw them away. Dude, chill. It’s a freaking nickel. Then he reams her out because she was an idiot and won a contest for the three days and nights that he’s wasting by being there all because she’s silly enough to want to have fun. It seems he was only good with it because it didn’t cost them anything but now that she’s spending actual money, a whole nickel! Well! He just won’t stand for that! Flora honey, cut your losses now.

He’s chewing her out in front of everyone like the douche chugger he is. She tries to calm him down by promising not to play anymore. Then she points out that the nickel is already in it so he ‘lets’ her pull the arm. Damn, it seems like your arm would get tired pulling those things. Which is probably why they switched to buttons on the electronic ones. Don’t want the gamblers getting tired and walking away. It doesn’t win and she jokes that she’s unlucky. Franklin decides he’s had enough of all of this debauchery and leaves to go back to their room.

On the way a drunk guy grabs Franklin, shoves a dollar in his hand and totters off. They’re definitely bigger than a quarter. Franklin gets tempted by a nearby slot machine so he gives it a try with encouraging looks from Flora. He yanks the arm and wins some coins. Franklin says that’s the difference between his intelligence and all the other crazy fools there. They’re going to take their loot and go home with it. Because they’re Baboons but the Gibbs are not. He decides to go off to have a shave before dinner. The drunk guy comes back and feeds another dollar into the machine Franklin just left, seemingly proving his point. But, since we know we’re in the Twilight Zone, things are going to get shaky for the Gibbs.

A freaky voice starts calling Franklin’s name. Ah, the siren call of the slot machines. Although it’s definitely not a nice voice. It’s harsh and rather annoying. In the hotel room Flora is fast asleep and Franklin is eyeballing the stack of dollars. He gets up all sneaky and grabs the stack. Flora turns the lights on and wants to know what Franklin is doing. Franklin says he wants to go get rid of the money. It’s tainted, immoral money and he wants to get rid of it. Whatever Franklin. First you’re a total douche canoe to your wife, in front of everyone, because she wanted to try a nickel machine. Now you’re making excuses to go lose $15 – $20 dollars. I’m thinking it’s Franklin that gets The Fever.

Flora follows him down and says it’s awfully late. Franklin ignores her. He promptly loses the dollars to the machine. He gets some money from the window, already sweating like a baboon. My apologies to the simians. I’d rather hang out with a monkey than Franklin. And I hate those poop-throwing little things. Flora tries to gently pull him away and he bites her head off asking her to kindly shut her mouth. Because he hates shrews that give him miserable luck. he says the slot machines are “inhuman” for letting you win a little and then taking it back. Well, yes, Franklin, machines are generally inhuman. And they don’t make you play. You’ve got legs, you can walk away and the machine won’t follow you.

Five hours later he’s still there. Flora tries to pull him away again but he tells her to leave him alone. I’m telling you Flora, cut your losses. The guys at the cage have a little conversation about him saying “when they get hooked, they get really hooked.” There’s a montage of Franklin using the machine and getting more money out to feed the machine. It’s the next morning and Flora tries to pull him away, again.

There’s more montage of him so we have no idea how much longer it has been. It appears to at least be a day or two. He puts his last dollar in but the machine’s arm jams. He yanks on the arm for a while and then just straight up attacks it. He wants his damn dollar back. They drag him off and says that he’s going to need a doctor. Two casino people prop it back up and hang an ‘Out of Order’ sign on it.

Franklin is upstairs in bed, wide awake and tortured by the machine calling his name. He blames the machine for breaking down so it didn’t have to pay out. He says it’s not a machine but an entity with a will of it’s own. He keeps babbling about that and his last silver dollar. He keeps hearing it calling him. “Franklin!”

He goes to leave the hotel room but “Aaahhh!” The evil slot machine is there! Guess I was wrong, it did grow legs and follow him. He slams the door and runs to the other side of the room. The Evil Machine follows him in and Franklin starts freaking out. Flora tells him there’s nothing there. Franklin backs away from it and falls. The doctor, police officer and cop have a little moralizing over the body. The Evil Slot Machine spits out Franklin’s last silver dollar at him.

Serling:
Mr. Franklin Gibbs, visitor to Las Vegas, who lost his money, his reason and finally, his life to an inanimate metal machine. Variously described as a one-armed bandit, a slot machine, or in Mr. Franklin Gibbs’ words – a monster with a will all it’s own, for our purposes we’ll stick with the latter definition because we’re in the Twilight Zone.


I really, really hate this episode. Franklin’s an ass and the constant “Franklin!” is really annoying. Not much to really say about it.


Please join us again for next week’s episode: The Last Flight (which is much, much better).

Twilight Zone Tuesday – The Hitch-Hiker

The Hitch-Hiker

Nan Adams – Inger Stevens
The Hitch-Hiker – Leonard Strong
Sailor – Adam Williams
Mechanic – Lew Gallo
Counterman – Russ Bender
Gas Station Man (a.k.a. Mean Old Bastard) – George Mitchell

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Twilight Zone Tuesday – I Shot An Arrow Into The Air

I Shot An Arrow Into The Air

Colonel Bob Donlin – Edward Binns
Corey – Dewey Martin
Pierson – Ted Otis

Trigger Warnings (highlight to see): Images of dead bodies (in the show and in this post), someone getting shot and a murder with a rock (offscreen) 

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Twilight Zone Tuesday – Third from the Sun

Third from the Sun

William Sturka – Fritz Weaving
Eve Sturka – Lori March
Jody Sturka – Denise Alexander
Jerry Riden – Joe Maross
Ann Riden – Jeanne Evans
Carling – Edward Andrews
Narrator – Rod Serling

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