The Gallows Review

The Gallows ReviewSynopsis: A high school student is killed during a production of the play The Gallows. Twenty years later they get permission to put it on again. Well, you can guess what happens next.

Tagline: On July 10th, Hang With The Cool Kids.

Release Date: 2015-7-10 | MPAA Rating: R | Coolthulhus Earned: 1

Trailer: The Gallows




–S&S–


The Gallows Review


Oh, for the love of all things sweet and chocolatey, do not waste your money on this movie. This is a one cool-thulhu movie. Remember what that means? It means run away screaming. That’s how ridiculously bad this movie was. I watched it at the second run theatre, and I want my $1.50 back. Right now.

The only positive thing I say about this movie is that the teens were very annoying and dramatic… Just like real ones. Which, hey, we all go through that phase, so not really a big deal.

I don’t think they could have picked a more annoying voice to be the one who does most of the talking. Within MINUTES, I was wincing every time this guy talked, and finally ended up whispering to my partner that “This is almost physically painful.” He agreed.

There was not a single thing done in this movie that even approached unique/different. Just one over used jump scare and bit of bad dialogue after another. The only reason we sat through it is we had to flea bomb our house because of asshole cats.

Less that 20 minutes in, as soon as one crazy eyed character is introduced, you know exactly how it’s going to go down. The director/producer/writer all need to go back to school for lessons on how NOT to produce cliche films that Spielberg wouldn’t even wipe his ass with.

I love campy, b-grade horror movies. I bow before the awesomeness that is Evil Dead and Paranormal Activity (just the first one!) This movie would make Bruce Campbell run away screaming. I’m guessing the budget was $300.00? (I checked, it was estimated $100,000. I’m wondering at this point what they spent it on. It certainly wasn’t decent actors/actresses, good sets, or high tech cameras.)

Anyways…I hope this has saved someone out there the painful experience I’ve just had. Click here to rent or buy The Gallows now on Amazon.com, if you feel like torturing yourself.


1 Star Rated The Gallows Review

Title: The Gallows | Director(s): Travis Cluff, Chris Lofing | Actors: Reese Mishler, Pfeifer Brown, Ryan Shoos  |  Production: Blumhouse Productions | Release Date: 2015-7-10 | Genre: Horror | Language: English | Triggers: Hanging | MPAA Rating: R |  Rating: 1 out of 5

 

5 thoughts on “The Gallows Review

  1. lol… just wait until Vine / Youtube stars start making horror movies… like their cheap comedy, their horrors will probably be horrors just in existence alone.

    nom nom nom… probably won’t see this one now. haha good looking out.

    I have to wonder, though, how if this movie was so bad, it managed to get 4.3 stars in IMDB. I don’t fully trust the rating there, so I’m usually good if it’s at least 4.5 or 5 stars. Was there anything redeeming that people would give it a 4?

    1. The people who are rating this with 4 to 5 stars are who will mindlessly adore found film footage put out because its the latest trend. There was nothing original, nothing exciting, nothing worth watching.

      I love bad movies. This went beyond bad. It was an insult to bad movies – and you’re talking to the person who gave Roboshark 5 stars. I’m not exactly hard to please!

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