Life in Crisis: When Alien Met Gravity

Movie poster for Life

Life Synopsis: A team of scientists aboard the International Space Station discover a rapidly evolving life form, that caused extinction on Mars, and now threatens the crew and all life on Earth.

Release Date: March 24th, 2017 | Runtime: 1 hr 44 minutes | Coolthulhus Earned: 2

Tagline: We were better off alone.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, etc

Watch the Life trailer.


–S&S–

Life Review

I knew going into watching Life that I wasn’t going to find anything to be shocked or awed at. I mean, it had Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal in it. Two stars on their plate? that was a sure-fire recipe for “Let’s play it perfectly safe.” And play it safe they did. Boringly so. To the point near the end of the movie, I was struggling to stay awake. I’m kind of in awe at how non-entertained I managed to be.

The only positive thing I have to say about life is that the monster was pretty. Calvin doesn’t deserve that rap that he’s getting in some reviews for being too simplistic and boring. He is gorgeous and, pardon the pun, alien in appearance. There are a few scenes (that inevitably happen right before copious amounts of violence and running) where I couldn’t help but smile at him. Yes, he is a simple creature in appearance, but later one, when he takes on a nearly winged cobra appearance? In either innocent or deadly phase, Calvin is worth looking at.

Look, if you’re wanting to see a sci-fi horror that will put you on the edge of your seat, you need to understand that you aren’t going to find that in Life. However, you can always pick up a copy of Event Horizon, and be prepared to have nightmares for a few nights afterward. THAT is how it is supposed to be done. Life is a pale imitation of a sci-fi horror movie. Oscar Wild gave us a quote that fits this movie perfectly.  (Actually, Life really does imitate art, if you consider art to be face-huggers and space disasters. This wouldn’t have been so bad, except someone forgot to tell them that in terms of space disasters, Gravity is a grave mistake.)

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.”  ― Oscar Wilde

Gyllenhaal shows his soft side (again), Reynolds gets foiled. Olga Dihovichnaya is an actress I would be interested in seeing in more films. Rebecca Ferguson is the resident ‘smart and beautiful that incites warm fuzzies’. Yada, yada, yada… I’m sorry, I have nothing more to say about any of the cast. Few of them made their mark on the film for more than a second or two at most. There is one scene involving that will make you gag if you have a weak stomach. You have been warned.

Life is one action sequence after another, but the problem with this is that it doesn’t take long before you’re giving the screen cues.   “And, cue dramatic final plan in three…two…Even sci-fi horrors shot on spaceships can be badly done. And how is that possible? It’s a horror film IN SPACE. I would say “Have you not seen Aliens clearly have. Several times. Probably right before plotting out the storyboard for this film.

Overall, it’s not worth the time, the money, or the calories from the popcorn.

2 Rated Life Film Review

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