Synopsis: When a mysterious cell phone signal causes apocalyptic chaos, an artist is determined to reunite with his young son in New England. – IMDB
Tagline: When everyone is connected no one is safe
Release Date: 2016-6-10 | MPAA Rating: R | Coolthulhus Earned: 2
Trailer: The Cell
The Cell Review
Normally, I’m not a fan of Stephen King’s books, but I love the movie adaptations. In this case, I was actually a huge fan of the book, but not the movie. John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson are normally fairly entertaining actors (1408!). However, I think it’s safe to say neither of them brought their A-Game to this low-budget looking flick.
I know this is an odd complaint to start with, but the way the credits had a big black box around them that blocked a good chunk of the screen bugged me. I mean, it takes a certain sort of talent to annoy people within the first 30 seconds of the movie. Needless to say, it wasn’t an auspicious beginning. Then, the audience gets beat over the head with Cusack’s character telling everyone that it’s the phones. Yes, yes, it’s a thinly-veiled reference to our dependency on technology. Also, it gets old fast. Real fast. The book was an excellent look at this subject. The Cell movie is such a watered down version of that look that I wouldn’t be surprised to see homeopaths marketing it as a cure for technological dependency.
So, a quick run down. Cusack plays the usual off-beat, seemingly intelligent good guy. Jackson has his action-movie speech moment. Apart from the funky conversion to zombie-dom, it really is just a zombie movie at heart. Yeah, they shut down at night, and they make some funky sounds, but…zombies. 28 Days Later zombies, but zombies nonetheless. Even the try-too-hard addition of the supernatural element does nothing to make this anything more than a yawn-worthy zombie movie. Right down to the drunken partying at the end of the world, replete with old drunk people talking in slow-mo.
Sorry, folks. This one’s a stinker.
The Cell is available on Amazon if you feel like wasting your money.