American Ultra Review

American Ultra ReviewSynopsis: A stoner – who is in fact a government agent – is marked as a liability and targeted for extermination. But he’s too well-trained and too high for them to handle. – IMDB

Tagline: Everyone’s getting smoked.

Release Date: 2015-8-21  | MPAA Rating: R | Coolthulhus Earned: 3

Trailer: American Ultra


American Ultra Review

American Ultra was almost good. Unfortunately, as the old song goes, “Almost Doesn’t Count”.  Now, that’s not to say it didn’t have some great bits in there, because there definitely was. I was shocked, for one, to see that Kirsten Stewart could do a look other than confused or constipated. When she was telling Mike that there were some things you don’t do when someone’s trying to kill you, I definitely snickered.

I’m pretty much completely unfamiliar with Eisenberg. Seriously, I think this is the first thing I’ve ever watched that he’s been in, and I have a feeling I’ve seen him the way he appears in literally all his other films. He just gives that “I don’t act. I just am.” vibe. Am I wrong?

The good parts, unfortunately, couldn’t bear the movie’s weight under the sheer “Mm. That’s…nice.. I guess. Actually, nope that’s just stupid and annoying” tonnage that the rest of the film piled on.

Probably the most satisfying moment for me came a few minutes from the end when a character that had bothered me the whole time got what was coming to him. I did actually look at my partner and say “That felt…oddly satisfying.”  The attack via fireworks was pretty funny too.

Plenty of action, a splatter or thirty-five of blood, and a chance to see Kirsten Stewart’s third (maybe even a 4th?!) expression do at least add up to a 3 Cool-thulhu rating, though.

Now, I’ve given credit where credit is due, and I’ve boo’ed where appropriate, too. So, I feel its appropriate for me to finally get this off my chest. 

You know, there are some things that its okay to reference/poke fun at. Still-born babies are not one of them. So when the older female FBI character comes out with (paraphrased)”So you’re coming in to steal my stillborn baby?” it just pisses me off. Not only is that not something you need to reference in a freaking movie, but IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE TO COMPARE A FICKED UP WORK PROJECT TO A STILLBORN BABY, YOU TOE RAGS.

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3 Star Rated American Ultra Review

Title: American Ultra | Director: Nima Nourizadeh | Actors:  Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Connie Britton, etc | Production Company:   PalmStar Media, Bridge Finance Company, The, Circle of Confusion See | Release Date: 2015-8-21 | Genres: Action & Comedy | Language: English | Triggers: Casual stillborn reference early in movie |  MPAA Rating: R | Rating: 3 out of 5


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